I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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