If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
