In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
