I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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