you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
