Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
that's an acceptable place to lick
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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