idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
