Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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