A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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