My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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