So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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