Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
