his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize