I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
