i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
