Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
