Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
