You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
