What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize