I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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