1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
