Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
