Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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