I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
