I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
