Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
