i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
