i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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