Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
