I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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