yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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