Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
