scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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