The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
