there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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