We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
