David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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