Swine flu. Run for my life!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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