I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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