I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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