Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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