its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize