too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
