i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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