I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
