i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There r osticjed everywhere
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is Oprah even human
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
