Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I touched a dick in church today
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
