finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
