I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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