Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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