giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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