he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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