Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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