hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
