Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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