; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
