So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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