is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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