I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
