glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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