Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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