: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
