I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
