worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
