you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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