She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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