I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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