But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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