Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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