Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
