Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
