That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
