well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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