was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
