Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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