We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
