i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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