she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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