Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
