i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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