Are we in a gay sports bar?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
